In a landmark ruling this week, the Feline Tenancy Tribunal confirmed that a duvet, once slept upon for more than three consecutive nights, is the legal territory of the cat. The human may use it, but only with the cat’s blessing and a gentle apology each morning.
The case, brought by a distressed human named Gareth, argued that the duvet was a ‘shared resource’. The judge, a stern tortoiseshell named Her Honour Maud, replied that the duvet was ‘a ceded jurisdiction’. Gareth now sleeps on the sofa with a tea towel. We are proud to have provided the lease, the cushion, and the Latin phrase ‘ab initio’. It means nothing, but it sounds expensive.
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